Making a Little Room for Yourself on a Difficult Day

Sometimes the to-do list feels heavy before the day has even begun. On a day like this, your first question to yourself could be ‘What feels hardest today?’ rather than ‘Why am I like this?’ Your answer might be tiredness, uncertainty, a conversation or a sense of being stuck that you cannot quite name. You do not have to explain or solve it straight away; simply describe what you are dealing with in one sentence.

You can write that sentence on your phone if you like. Without trying to persuade yourself of anything, you will have gathered a small piece of information about your day. ‘I am afraid I will not be able to keep up today’ is enough.

Look at what you need to do and make three headings: necessary today, can wait, and something I can ask for help with. Write no more than two things under each heading. Postponing a task that can wait does not mean avoiding responsibility; it may be a way of taking your available time and energy into account.

If a necessary task feels large, make its first step smaller. For example, ‘Clear one corner of the table’ instead of ‘Tidy the whole house’, or ‘Suggest a suitable time to talk’ instead of ‘Sort out that difficult issue’.

Ask yourself what would give you a little breathing room today. Quiet, a break to eat, a short walk or calling someone you trust? One option that suits you is enough. If you are messaging someone, you could say, ‘You do not need to find a solution; could you listen for a few minutes?’

At the end of the day, rather than measuring whether everything is better, ask, ‘What did I make a little lighter, and what still needs support?’ If this difficulty keeps taking up space in your daily life, it could also be the starting point for something you would like to explore together in a session.