Three Small Notes to Bring to a First Session

You do not need to put your whole life in order before your first session. If you wish, write a sentence beginning ‘What has been on my mind most lately is…’ It might be an event, a recurring conversation, difficulty making a decision or wanting to understand yourself better. You do not have to prove that your problem is big enough; saying why it matters to you is enough.

If an example comes to mind, note one recent moment. What happened, how did you feel, and what did you need afterwards? You can go into only as much detail as you want to share.

‘I want to feel better’ is an understandable starting point. If you wish, bring it closer to everyday life: ‘Expressing myself more comfortably in a conversation’, ‘Noticing what I want when making a decision’ or ‘Thinking through something difficult with someone’. You do not have to choose a definite goal yet; you can explore it together in the session.

If there is a subject you do not feel ready for, you could write beside it, ‘I would like to take this slowly for now.’ It can be a reminder that you have a say in how much you share during the session.

The session is not only about you telling your story. You can ask about the way of working, the length of sessions, fees and cancellation terms, the scope of confidentiality or how the next step will be agreed. If you do not understand a phrase, ask for it to be explained again. You can also discuss how a matter outside the service’s scope, or a need for another kind of support, would be handled.

You can bring the notes with you or not use them at all. At the end of the session, instead of asking ‘Did I explain everything?’, consider, ‘Did I feel listened to, was I able to ask my questions, and how do I feel about continuing?’ You can also say that you need time to think before making a decision.