Adolescence · Article
What Might a Teenager's Silence Be Telling Us?
Silence is sometimes less a sign of pulling away than of growing tired of speaking without being understood.
Silence does not have just one meaning
Becoming more inward-looking, sharing less and withdrawing into personal space can occur as part of adolescent development. Still, a clearer picture emerges when the duration of the silence, other accompanying changes and the young person's everyday functioning are considered together.
Staying available without forcing a conversation
Asking one question after another or offering quick solutions may make a young person close off further. Showing through your actions that ‘I'm here when you're ready’, creating calm opportunities and listening without judgment help protect the relationship.
If there is a marked decline in school functioning, intense anger, prolonged withdrawal or concern about safety, it is important not to put this down simply to ‘being a teenager’ and delay seeking a professional assessment.
Reconsidering how connection happens at home
Sometimes the question is as much ‘How safe does it feel to speak at home?’ as ‘Why isn't the young person talking?’ Making room for mistakes, different opinions and being heard before being understood may help communication begin again.
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This article draws on general information supported by the sources below. The examples are intended to help you reflect; they do not provide an assessment of your individual circumstances.
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